Driving Test

Today was the big day. I went for my driving test. The last time I did that was in1987. That was back home in Germany. Since I live in the States now I need an American driver license to drive a car. But when do I need to drive? Never! I take the subway or the bus. But then there are the moments when it would be great to be able to drive. I would love to get out of the city more often in the summer and a cross country trip has long be on top of my wish list.

Since I get along without driving my motivation to go through the hassle of doing the road test getting the license has been very low. At the beginning of each of the twelve years I have spent here I would say that this would be the year to get it only to let pass by another year without me doing anything about it. This time I kept my word though.

About a month and a half ago I did my written test. I found a driving school close to where I live, attended a five hour class where I had to watch a few videos what enabled me to do the road-test.

Today I met my driving instructor Luis at 12:30 pm to take a driving class before the test. He is the owner of the driving school. I had met him the first time a few weeks ago when he taught the five-hour class at his school. He is a very nice guy and originally from South America. We jumped into his car and I started driving.

I was amazed how rusty I was. I guess even though you never forget how to drive makes a difference if you do it on a daily basis or only once every few years. But what was interesting about today’s experience was that it brought back my past.

Twenty years ago I was sitting in a car with a driving instructor to learn how to drive as well. I was almost done with school and about to start to work in a bank. What I remember most about this time was how afraid I was. I had no self confidence, because of that I was convinced that whatever I do will fail and was living a self fulfilling prophesy.

I still remember when this young insecure boy went for his road test in 1987. He was so afraid he was shivering. But even though he drove well and his instructor was convinced he would get the license he failed the test. He did not believe in himself and received confirmation for it everywhere.

Even though I have little to do with the person I was back then today these experiences are still stored in my mind. I was very nervous during the driving class and made many mistakes. It was a good chance to practice yesterday’s realization. It is all in my head, my mind is running the show bringing these old experiences back and I am reliving them. My mind tries to make me believe that I am still the same person I was all these years ago. As yesterday I started to fight back. I attacked every limiting, negative thought I had and I made very clear that I don’t want to have my mind in my life any more.

When we got to Queens where I had to take the test I felt much better. The lady that tested me was very nice and the moment I started the car I knew that this time things are different.

After about seven minuets of driving I had my temporary driver license in my hands.



“Driving Test” Brooklyn/On the way home from Queens after the road test on the BQE  12-17-08 at 03:51 PM


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