Change

It has been over seven months since I started to write this blog. Even though I have not been posting on a daily basis as I initially intended to do I am almost up to 200 blog posts. A lot has happened during this time and who knows what will happen in the remaining five months of the year.

I have changed, I’ve become more relaxed and more in tune with myself. To take it easy was a very difficult lesson to learn, I used to be “on” all the time.

As I’m changing this blog has to change. I’ve been focusing a lot on the writing part and much less on the image part. Writing is so much harder for me then taking photographs. Capturing an image often does not take me more then a few minuets.

The reason for this blog is not to achieve anything. Yes, initially I was trying to get more people to my photography site but I gave that idea up after a month or so realizing that what I was writing about would only be of interest for a very small percentage of the population. I’ve been writing to give back.

I had a lot of spiritual help over the years and this blog is meant to share my experiences and maybe help somebody else to improve their lives.

What I realized again and again in the last couple of months though is that I tend to intellectualize this process. I can go on and on about an idea without finding an answer. Words are very limited as zenshredding mentioned in his comment to my last post. He also had a good point when he said that chaos and cosmos exists and don’t exist at the same time. Michael having been my teacher did summ it up for me by saying that his children don’t know what chaos and cosmos is, they are just playing with what is right in front of them.

At the end does all this theorizing help? What does all this spiritual talk do? What do I try to achieve? Isn’t the goal to be able to play like Michael’s children without wondering about what the “I” is, what is real and unreal and why we are here? At the end what difference does it make?

This shows me how little I know!

The main reason I love photography so much is that an image can say more then 1000 words. This is why from now on I want to concentrate more on the photographs then on the writing. I feel I’ve said what I had to say. If I write something I will talk about what I’m playing with, what brings me joy and happiness in that moment.

If somebody wants to know how I was able to free myself far enough be able to play, well there are 195 posts and 208 comments about how to get there, have fun reading. 🙂

 

 

 

“Change” Manhattan, New York City 07-27-08 at 05:31 PM

Please check out my website at carstenfleck.com

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