Being Exhausted

Today I did shoot all day. I got five hours of sleep last night. I finished the blog late and then packed for the shoot today. Got up at six, finished packing. Dragged all the heavy bags down to a car, went to Manhattan only to get more equipment. Met with my good friend Marco who was so nice to help me. Did schlep all the equipment into the building I was shooting in. Dealt with security and insurance issues. Got to the 21st floor and set up the shoot. Shot for nine hours and continuously set up and broke down sets. Marco I could not have done it without you! Packed everything up and was very happy to be able to leave the equipment at the building for part 2 of the shoot tomorrow. Had an hour brake at Starbucks with a Soy Chai Latte. Was staring at the wall because my brain was so fried. Went to kung fu for 1 ½ hours. Ran to the train. Stopped at a falafel place to have something to eat. Got home at 11 PM. Did the edit for today’s shoot. At the moment I am processing the RAW files to Tiffs and will burn a disc with the images in a few minuets to show the images to my client tomorrow morning.

I am absolutely exhausted. There is not much left in me.

I am not writing this to complain. I did not break the rule about only doing what I like to do that I initiated yesterday for a second. I was very happy to do what I love to do and to get paid for it. To only do what you want to do does not mean not to do. In my case it means that I am busy all the time since there are so many things I like to do. To do what you want to do takes effort.

I just recently talked to a friend of mine about resting and that I do not get enough rest. But what little price is that to pay for an exciting life were I am inspired to do what I am doing.

I like to write the blog for example. This takes tremendous effort. I mean an unbelievable huge effort. I really do not have the time to do it. But I am inspired to do it and this is why I make it possible. I do not care how much it takes, I just do it and I will keep on doing it as long as it feels right.

What I want to say with this is that listening to your inner voice and doing what you love to do will not make your life easier. You might work harder and have less time to just hang. But at the same time it is so much more rewarding because you do what you want to do. You are inspired to do the things you are doing. As exhausted as you might be you are happy with yourself and your life.

 

 

 

 

“Being Exhausted” Williamsburg/Brooklyn Guy sleeping on the L Train 03-04-08 at 10:42 PM.

03-04-081.jpg 

Please check out my website at carstenfleck.com

Advertisements

About this entry