“I”

First I want to thank Michael/Zenschredding and Stardust for their comments about my “Principles” post yesterday. I did not say that the Ten Commandments are principles. I just said that they also say that we should not kill. Stardust is completely right by saying that they a code of conduct. But the meaning and synonym for principle is also code.

This is what Zenschredding posted yesterday:

… we can dig a little a little deeper into the statement:

…This list can go on forever. But what are we doing? What do all these principles have in common? The word “only.”

It is the “I” that is common…

It is the “I” that has lists and the “I” that needs principles to live by. As long as there is a dependency on the “I”, as long as the “I” exists, there will always be a list, there will always be a need to have a principle to keep in check the illusion of the “I” and the chaos and suffering it creates.

The “I” is a role we play, the role changes, but the roleplayer remains the same. The list the “I” had yesturday will be edited and updated for today. The role the “I” plays today will be different than the role the “I” plays tomorrow. “YOU” are not the role, “you” are the role player.

What happens if we begin to disassociate from the “I”? What happens when we begin to examine, challenge, and enquire into the nature of the “I”? What happens if we begin to realize that we are more than the “I”, more than the roles that the “I” plays in life, more than any list that the “I” could ever come up with?

The “I” lives in a body and has thoughts, memories, associations, perceptions, emotions. The “I” is a concept; an idea, that is in constant change. The real “you” never changes, it is the playground of eternity. The “I” is born and will die, “you” are ancient, unborn and will never die. The real “you” does not need principles, they are simply a distraction to the art of Being…”

In the journey of self-realization we will face different truths. There is the ultimate truth but I believe we cannot directly get there. We need practice for everything we want to achieve. There might be some lucky human being who does not have to do anything for having deeper insight. I heard these stories about people standing at a bus stop and getting suddenly hit by a ball of light and are right away able to see the ultimate truth. But I never met them. I never met an excellent yogi, kung fu master or great photographer who achieved their level of skill and understanding without putting a lot of effort into what they wanted to achieve either.

Lets assume that we need practice to find a deeper understanding and the ultimate truth is that the “I” does not exist (I want to say more about that later). The question is how do we get there? How can we understand that the “I” is an illusion? We practice. But how we do that?

Ashtanga Yoga has five set series that means you do not mix up poses it is set which pose follows which pose. When you learn it you only get a new pose when you are able to do the pose before effortlessly. You start to learn the first series then the second and so on. As far as I know there is only one person in the world who does the fifth series. I once met this guy who the day we talked finally was given the last pose of the first series. It had taken him 2.5 years of practicing yoga 1.5 hours a day six days a week besides full moon and new moon days. And from here the practice only gets harder. Sometimes people are stuck at a pose for years.

To understand that the “I” does not exist is equal to practicing the fifth series of Ashtanga Yoga. It must be amazing to get there but it is very unlikely that we will. With that I do not want to say that getting there should not be our goal. But how can we practice how can we start to unveil the illusion.

This is why I sometimes do not talk about the ultimate truth but about in between truths. In yoga we would start with a forward bend. Spiritually we start to scratch on the “I”. We start to ask questions as little as why do I believe this? Am I really who I think I am? Where do my principles come from?

It is not that I do not absolutely appreciate what you say Michael. I would not write so much about it (still with two fingers). Would it make sense for me to learn the poses of the fifth series?

I have not even started the second. I could look at them and theorize how it would feel like but I would not be able to do them. Does it make sense for us to go talk about the ultimate truth when we still have to understand the in between truths?

What I try to do with this blog is to shake things up to make us aware that things might not be how we think they are. I also want to show how I practiced to give my ego less power then it had in the past. But after all this is said theorizing is fun too so here we go:

“It is the “I” that is common…

It is the “I” that has lists and the “I” that needs principles to live by. As long as there is a dependancy on the “I”, as long as the “I” exists, there will always be a list, there will always be a need to have a principle to keep in check the illusion of the “I” and the chaos and suffering it creates.<

But “you” are not the “I” and you are not the list.

The “I” is a role we play, the role changes, but the roleplayer remains the same. The list the “I” had yesturday will be edited and updated for today. The role the “I” plays today will be different than the role the “I” plays tommorow. “YOU” are not the role, “you” are the role player.”

I do not think the “I” will cease to exist when the ego is transcended. The raindrop that becomes one with the ocean is still a raindrop but also the ocean. When the ego dies I will still be there but will not associate myself with the stories about my past or my projections onto the future. I will just be, “it” just will be.

I am not the illusionary “I” and because of that also not the list since the illusionary “I” created it.

About the role and the role player. There is a single point that does not move, the center of all. But when I transcend the illusionary “I” I am a vessel for the universe to express itself, I become the universe and there will still be change. The Universe is constantly changing. There is no roll and there is no roll player there is just “it”.

“What happens if we begin to disassociate from the “I”? What happens when we begin to examine, challenge, and enquire into the nature of the “I”? What happens if we begin to realize that we are more than the “I”, more than the roles that the “I” plays in life, more than any list that the “I” could ever come up with?”

That will piss off our ego quite a bit. But if we persist it will take more and more power away from the illusionary self and will be its death at the end by realizing that the ego is unnecessary and is limiting the true self.

“The “I” lives in a body and has thoughts, memories, associations, perceptions, emotions. The “I” is a concept; an idea, that is in constant change. The real “you” never changes, it is the playground of eternity. The “I” is born and will die, “you” are ancient, unborn and will never die. The real “you” does not need principles, they are simply a distraction to the art of Being…” “

The illusionary “I” lives in a body and is a concept. The real I does too but is also everything else. When the ego is gone there will still be change. Change is not created by the illusionary self but hindered. The real me never changes because it is beyond the universe. It has no beginning and no end. The real me is “it”.

 

 

 

 

 

“It”. Williamsbug/Brooklyn/ My computer screen 02-16-08 at 10:44 PM.


 

Please check out my website at carstenfleck.com

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