Alcatraz had been a federal prison for over 29 years. Its most famous inmates included Robert Stroud, Al Capone and George “Machine Gun” Kelly. There is no recorded escape from that prison. The water around it is freezing cold and has strong sea currents. Would it have been possible to escape from “The Rock”?

Looking at Alcatraz it reminds me on our minds. It was not a pleasant place to be, one of the toughest prisons ever. Living a life controlled by our mind is not pleasant either. It is not even life that is unpleasant what is unpleasant is the illusions our mind constructs. It creates unnecessary pain and suffering. It sabotages our lives and then torments us and convinces us that we cannot live without its guidance.

It keeps us imprisoned on a rock surrounded by ice-cold water with us feeling we cannot escape. Our fear to jump into the cold water, to be pulled down by the strong currents is too big to even attempt to break out. We much rather surrender to our imprisonment, to our suffering, to the mistreatment.

I myself never met somebody who fully escaped. I never met anybody who transcended his or her mind completely. But I met a few people who are swimming. Will they make it? Unlikely. There is probably not more then one person per generation who is able to accomplish that task. But at least they are trying to break free. After jumping into the water they found out that the water is not that cold and the currents not as strong. They actually have a pretty pleasant swim.

But even though they are still in the water and have not reached solid ground yet they are at least partially free.

“Free!?” San Francisco/California/Alcatraz/The Rock 05-10-08 at 03:42 PM

From a very young age on I was very interested in the under water world. Big influences for my attraction were Hans Hass, a scuba diving pioneer from Austria and Jacques Yves Cousteau.

My grandfather owned a book by Hans Hass called “Among corrals and sharks” what was one of the first books with under water photographs ever. I loved the images. When I was growing up in Germany we had three television stations and almost no commercial breaks. One show that I frequently watched were documentaries by Jacques Yves Cousteau about exploring the under water world. I was mesmerized. He even created a small underwater city. I made a decision; I would be the Jacques Cousteau of the future.

Well, my life did not go that direction. But that wasn’t holding me back from becoming a licensed diver at age 16. I still remember how excited I was back then on my first dive. An amazing trip followed when I was 19. I flew to Sipadan Island in the Northeast of Borneo. It is a small island. To walk around it on the beach takes less then 30 minuets. I was the youngest longest guest on the island spending 10 days there and was doing up to four dives per day. I had a fantastic time. I could have even had an island girlfriend if I would not have been so repressed at that time in my life and would not have rejected her. What a waste! J Well, too late now.

Sipadan is famous for its  “turtle tomb” and because of that was visited by Jacques Cousteau. It is an underwater tomb you have to enter through a very narrow tunnel. What happens is that turtles get lost in the tomb, can’t find the way up to the surface to breathe and die. When you enter the tomb you can find about 20 turtle skeletons on the ground. Cave diving is very exciting. There is always some anxiety when you jump in the water. But diving in total darkness and knowing that going up will not bring you to the surface but only make you hurt your head makes things definitely more interesting.

Sipadan has a drop off reef that falls to 2000 feet. The great thing is that wall diving is possible. You can jump into the water and have great diving conditions at any depth. I still remember this day I did a night dive. Night diving is always exciting because all you see is where you point your torchlight. There is always this mystery about what is happening around you, especially when sharks are in the water. That night I was diving with my diving along the wall with my dive instructor. In the far distance we could see another group of divers lighting up the darkness around us. It looked like a scene out of the movie “The Abyss”. About 15 minuets later I suddenly felt somebody tapping on my shoulder. It was one of the divers of the other group. When I turned around he started to shake my hand. It was this strange scene in the midst of the Celebes Sea. Two guys in the middle of the night in diving gear being happy to have run into another human being. I still wonder that the guy was.

There is a lot of freedom in diving. You free yourself from the weight of the body and leave the world, as you know it behind you. This is why I was so attracted to it. For an hour I was able to leave it all behind me. For an hour I was able to let go of my suffering.

“Underwater” Aquarium of the Bay of California/San Francisco 05-10-08 at 03:20 PM

I spent all day yesterday exploring the city. The weather was absolutely beautiful. I booked a small, cheap but nice hotel close to the financial district. After I had a good night of sleep I started walking. I did not really have a plan where to go.

I ended up at a market with an amazing view on the Bay Bridge. San Francisco is a very colorful place even though people do not wear flowers in their hair any more. You can only imagine how this place must have been in the 70’s. Then I made my way over to the Aquarium of the Bay of California. I always have been a big water fan. I started scuba diving at the age of 16 in small lakes in Germany with visibilities under 10 inches. One day I hit the ground with my head and got stuck in the mud because the visibility was so low. But I also traveled. I dove in Borneo, Australia and in the Caribbean.

At the aquarium they have these under water glass tunnels. It is probably as good as it gets without getting wet. It is a great way to experience what it would feel like to be in the ocean. From there I went to Fisherman’s Wharf. At Fisherman’s Wharf San Francisco’s fishing fleet is docked. What I expected to be a couple of shacks that sell seafood is a huge tourist attraction with lots of shops and the usual Starbucks and Hooter’s lineup.

From there it took me about an hour to walk home. After I got back to the hotel I realized that I have bad sunburn from walking around all day. At the moment I look like the craps they boil and feed to the tourists at Fisherman’s Warf.

“San Francisco” San Francisco 05-10-08 at 02:20 PM

Well, I seem to have successfully overcome my blog addiction. I do not even know how many days I did not write. I do not want to count them that would make me depressed. At the same time I am happy that I was able to let it go. There is nothing worse then constantly put so much pressure on me.

There was no way to even shoot an image for a couple of days. The original plan was to shoot also stills while shooting the music video with John Shannon but there was just not the time to do that. A two-member team covered jobs like being the artist, director, director of photography; producer, production assistant and driver.  At times I was holding the camera, having a boom box strapped around me since we needed to play the song for lip sinking and holding a flex fill. I could not have done it without John being so nice to carry as many bags as I did and driving me all over the place.

I also want to thank him and his girlfriend Caroline for their hospitality and for being such great people. The time in West Marin was fantastic. It was so much fun to spend 4 ½ days in nature. It is too bad that I did not have a chance to shoot more stills since it was so beautiful out there but the video should be edited within the next week and I will let you guys know as soon as it is ready.

At the moment I am in San Francisco. I arrived here yesterday. I booked a hotel for two days to relax a little bit and to explore the city. I will be back in New York on Monday morning. J

“Accomplishment” West Marin/John Sannon  looking at eagle 05-05-08 at 03:09 PM

Today was a good but long and hard day. John and I got up early in the morning. John’s girlfriend Caroline was so nice to make us some breakfast. Then we did load up the 10 or so equipment pieces and drove to our first location.

We got quite some shots done today. Or should I say scenes? I am still thinking in photo terms. I am shooting with this HD camera that is very compact but gets so heavy after some time. Today we mainly shot in the pine forest and on the beach. John’s neighbor Don helped us out on the shoot today. He suggested to go to this very beautiful beach to get some shots. We ended up schlepping the gear for 45 minuets one way. I am so tired and the wake up call for tomorrow morning is 5 AM.

“Roadkill” Point Reise National Seashore 05-06-08 at 11:44 AM

John and I spent all day today location scouting. The landscape is so amazing here in West Marin.We found some great places to shoot. Tomorrow is a big day and I will keep it short to make sure to get enough sleep.

“Location Scouting” West Marin close to San Francisco/John Shannon 05-05-08 at 05:28 PM

Two long days come to an end. I spent all day Sunday to get ready for my trip to San Francisco. My Flight was today at 6:15 in the morning, I did not get any sleep last night at all. I flew from New York to Minneapolis. It was amazing to see how much farmland is around that city and how flat the area is.

After an hour-long stop over at Minneapolis I flew over to San Francisco where I landed at around noon local time. My friend John Shannon was so nice to pick me up from the airport. I will stay in town to shoot his music video for the next couple of days.

We went and picked up the rental equipment at the rental house and spent most of the rest of the day discussing how to approach the video. Tomorrow is another big day with location scouting, making a decision about what John should wear in the video and me making myself more familiar with the equipment.

Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday we will shoot the video and still images.

“La Guardia Airport” New York City 05-04-08 at 06:01 AM

I am watching my life change dramatically right now; nothing seems to be how it was before. I have no idea how my new life will look like but I know it will be full of joy and adventure. My old life is changing because the life I have been living so far was still connected to the past. It was connected to doubt, low self-esteem, fear of the future, repression, depression and fear of responsibility. But I have changed; I am a different person now. Our lives are always mirroring what we believe to be.

Based on the believes I had my live was a very small life, a live with little responsibility but at the same time no excitement. My abilities have not changed, I am still the same person with the same talents but my beliefs about myself have. I did not have to learn anything, I did not have to achieve anything, and all I had to do was to let go of what I was taught to believe. Now everything is in motion. I do not know where it will go but I am not afraid, I am ready for the ride.

Where would my life go but to a place of my maximum potential? Where would anybodies life go if this person would believe it could do anything? Where else would our lives go if we would stop to doubt ourselves? If we let go of what we were taught to believe and follow our inner voice maximum potential is the only place we can go to. We all have it in us; all we have to do is to let go if the illusion we have about ourselves. Letting go of our false self will bring beauty in our lives, to the people around us and to the world.

“Change” Manhattan/New York City/Thee Floor Apartment 43rd Street and First Av. 05-03-08 at 10:55 PM

First of all I want to thank all of you who left me a comment when I had my blog meltdown a couple of days ago. The “miracle” I was talking about happened. Your support motivated me to keep on going. Not on a daily basis but whenever I am inspired to upload a new post.

There are so many things happening right now, it is overwhelming. Well, it is overwhelming for my mind trying to control my life. I am outgrowing my ability to control more and more. At this point I can either get totally stressed out or surrender to the magnitude of it with the knowledge that everything will work out perfectly fine.

The main thing happening right now is that I am flying to San Francisco fist thing Sunday morning to Shoot a music video for John Shannon’s song “Somewhere” on the “American Mystic” album that was released by Obliqsound. I am very excited about this project. I will be back in New York on May 12^th and of course keep all of you informed about what is happening during my visit.

“The Many” MAnhattan/New York City 15th Street between 8th and 9th Av. 05-02-08 at 05:23 PM.

After a long day of editing and preparing for a video shoot next week I ended up going out for a little while even though it was not planned.

I had fun tonight. I thought a lot about Michael’s comment the last two days. I either listen to my inner voice or the voices in my head. According to him it is either or and listening to your inner voice is the right decision. Since the beginning of this year I have been trying only to listen to my inner voice. I practiced that tonight. I said whatever came up. I expressed what wanted to be expressed.

The amazing thing is that very often what I say is absolutely ridiculous. I say what comes up and while I am saying it I am holding my breath because I am afraid it will get me into trouble. What I say pushes people’s buttons quite a bit but at the same time they seem to be very interested in me and want to find out who this guy is that does not hold back and is not afraid to be himself. They want to talk to me; they want to get to know me. Why? Because I am honest. Honest to them and honest to myself.

“Honesty” Williamsburg/Brooklyn/Union Pool 05-01-08 at 10:08 PM